Test Engineer Manifesto
- If any task, no matter how simple, is proceeded by the word “just…”, all cost and schedule estimates must be multiplied by approximately 1 or 2 orders of magnitude.
- All test benches require a certain percentage of jank to operate.
- Never trust the work of interns.
- See number three.
- Check valves don’t.
- The number of flex lines in a system is inversely related to the remaining schedule.
- When making schedules: assume nothing works in testing, all 3D print shops are incompetent to the point of “5th times a charm”, and nobody has heard of Rule #1.
- If existing test infrastructure is available, it will be broken when you need to use it.
- Test days are the best days.
- If “well, it shouldn’t move” is ever mentioned, “weld it” is always the correct response.
- Regular tag-ups with the designers will help prevent the use of #5-44 fasteners and other poor choices.
- If you give a designer a finished detailed design, they will change everything and start over. If you hand them a concept, they will start making drawings.
- Jank should be inversely related to energy. Low energy, full jank. Atomic bomb, minimal jank.
- Test everything you copy; just because it worked for someone else doesn’t mean it will work for you.
- There are no “small changes”.
- Analyze only when necessary.
- New hires are just interns that get paid more; plan accordingly.
- Lean programs must choose between a well-documented failure and an undocumented success.
- Trust but verify. Always.
- Sometimes the best DAQ is a camera.
- Assemble all available components immediately. This will identify if they comply with MIL-TFD-41.
- Pebbles and boulders are both rocks, be specific with what you ask for.
- Opinions don’t change the laws of physics.
- Design is done with math, testing is done with vibes.
- Test hardware is never destroyed, only descoped.